Abnormalities of Life

I went to a wedding a week ago. Everything was very nice--the ceremony, the dresses, the tuxes, the cake, the food, and the reception. So I write today not to complain about the wedding, but the venue at which it took place.

The wedding was in Lancaster, PA, otherwise known as land of the Amish. This is the part of the state that lies in what we call Pennsyltucky, the very conservative and very republican part of the state sandwiched (in a T-shape) between more liberal Philadelphia and Pittsburgh.

I can understand that religious zealots in this area want to teach their youth about religion, but look at the children's program that I picked up in the narthex of Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church.

Why is it OK for our children to learn history in such a poor manner? Look at this first page. There weren't any potholes in 25 BC! Hell, there were hardly any roads. And striking and/or confused road crews? That didn't come about until the 1930's, when people stopped learning how to be slow and learned how to drive like assholes.

As poorly inaccurate as this is, my favorite has to be the inside page. The upper lefthand corner starts with this wooly mammoth of a man declaring in not so many words "Hi sinners. I'm better than you so bow to me." You must read it for yourself to really grasp its full impact. Has
anyone an idea as to how inappropriate that is?

What about the portrait at the bottom with faceless people. This is for kids 6-10. Do they actually grasp the concept of baptism? How are they expected to draw the faces of these folks?

As if this isn't bad enough, the younger children's version (blue) is even more pathetic. Lets have fun with rhyming? Last time I checked, hooked on phonics was compulsory in elementary school, not at the church. And besides, each of these could be true. I have been witness to a number of crazy wedding ideas, all of which involved being a bride, but some involved a ride on a harley, getting tied (but we won't talk about the post-reception honeymoon antics), and yes, even going down a slide during pictures. So parents, if the kid circles all of the above, don't get angry, just consider your child more of an exhibitionist.

Honestly, I'm not a very religious person, as if you couldn't already tell that, but why subject our children to this insanity? Granted, we had a good laugh at our very liberal reception table, but what else is this really good for? A good and solid education of morality and intolerance among today's youth? If this is what the world is coming to, I want out.