Wednesday, April 19, 2006
TomKitten drove the GoKart to Syracuse
I, like the rest of America, am slightly obsessed with celebrity babies. I also have my own theory about them. Why is this? For every celebrity couple, you can have very interesting offspring. Some of the most notable include Kate Hudson, Drew Barrymore, and the 7,000 Baldwins (although they're brothers so it doesn't fully count). When they're young, you wonder what they'll grow into (hot as hell or gruesome). Perhaps they're shielded from stardom like Lourdes Ciccone Leone and Rocco Ritchie (Madonna's kids) until they become the monstrosities that can be defined today by the likes of Nicole Richie and Kimberly Stewart, among others.
Well last night, the world realized the possibility that one day we could be reading the tabloid about Sean Preston Spears-Federline's affair with Suri Cruise. We'll leave the Pitt-Jolie kid out of this for now, as the gender has not yet been released.
But my question to you dear readers is what has become of our naming? Suri? Lourdes? Apple? Puh-lease.
At least I know I am not the only lamewad who is caught up in the hubbub. Observe the mature and wonderfully-witty exchange between my posse of 7-year-olds* and I:
The conversation began by discussing dinner plans.
Matt: But seriously, if you ride a SEPTA vehicle and then dont wash your hands before eating communal food, we are so not friends anymore.
Marianne: Matt's threats of us not being friends will shut me right up.The thought brings me to tears as big as Kate and Tom's new baby.
Me: Suri. Reminds me of a Surrey. I'll call her Go-Kart Tom Kitty.
Matt: Reminds me of rose petals ;) so I shall call it pussy.
Brenda: Are you people insane? what the eff are you talking about? (yes I know she popped the kid - but you guys are over in left field).
Marianne: Better left than right I say. They are talking about the kid's name: Suri. It means red rose or princess depending upon the Persion or Hebrew translations, respectively.
Matt: Jeffery found certain terms relating to female anatomy rather gross, so instead he called this particular term "rose petal". I believe suri's name means red rose in persian.
Me: According to Webster, a Surrey is: a four-wheel two-seated horse-drawn pleasure carriage. Hence Go Kart. But I think I like just saying her full name better. Suri Cruise. She's totally going to school in Upstate NY so that Suri Crusie can be a Syracuse Orange Woman.
Matt: Umm, according to the popular song, this is a surrey.
Marianne: Sometimes Surrey's have fringe on top. Particularly in Oklahoma. I enjoyed your SU joke Jay. Perhaps they will give her a scholarship.
Matt: Puh-lease. she is the supreme leader of scientology. she is L. Ron reincarnate. you think she would waste her time being an orangeman?
OK, Brenda. Keep up with the conversation. Everyone else is just crazy. But thankfully we're not the only obsessed crazy people. And no matter what, we're never going to be as crazy as papa cruise.
*In her defense, Marianne has her PhD. She's closer to 12.
Well last night, the world realized the possibility that one day we could be reading the tabloid about Sean Preston Spears-Federline's affair with Suri Cruise. We'll leave the Pitt-Jolie kid out of this for now, as the gender has not yet been released.
But my question to you dear readers is what has become of our naming? Suri? Lourdes? Apple? Puh-lease.
At least I know I am not the only lamewad who is caught up in the hubbub. Observe the mature and wonderfully-witty exchange between my posse of 7-year-olds* and I:
The conversation began by discussing dinner plans.
Matt: But seriously, if you ride a SEPTA vehicle and then dont wash your hands before eating communal food, we are so not friends anymore.
Marianne: Matt's threats of us not being friends will shut me right up.The thought brings me to tears as big as Kate and Tom's new baby.
Me: Suri. Reminds me of a Surrey. I'll call her Go-Kart Tom Kitty.
Matt: Reminds me of rose petals ;) so I shall call it pussy.
Brenda: Are you people insane? what the eff are you talking about? (yes I know she popped the kid - but you guys are over in left field).
Marianne: Better left than right I say. They are talking about the kid's name: Suri. It means red rose or princess depending upon the Persion or Hebrew translations, respectively.
Matt: Jeffery found certain terms relating to female anatomy rather gross, so instead he called this particular term "rose petal". I believe suri's name means red rose in persian.
Me: According to Webster, a Surrey is: a four-wheel two-seated horse-drawn pleasure carriage. Hence Go Kart. But I think I like just saying her full name better. Suri Cruise. She's totally going to school in Upstate NY so that Suri Crusie can be a Syracuse Orange Woman.
Matt: Umm, according to the popular song, this is a surrey.
Marianne: Sometimes Surrey's have fringe on top. Particularly in Oklahoma. I enjoyed your SU joke Jay. Perhaps they will give her a scholarship.
Matt: Puh-lease. she is the supreme leader of scientology. she is L. Ron reincarnate. you think she would waste her time being an orangeman?
OK, Brenda. Keep up with the conversation. Everyone else is just crazy. But thankfully we're not the only obsessed crazy people. And no matter what, we're never going to be as crazy as papa cruise.
*In her defense, Marianne has her PhD. She's closer to 12.
# posted by Jay @ 11:52 AM 
