Friday, March 10, 2006
Ah Springtime!
Aside from the lower clothing amounts associated with the warmer spring and summer weather, all of the crazies usually come out of the wood work too. Once it is warm enough to spend time outdoors, most of the insanity we are kept from in the winter hours make themselves everpresent at first thaw. Oh yes, spring is my favorite time of year, as the psychometer (below, with links illustrating each level of psychosis: Severe, High, Elevated, Guarded, Low) is usually at its highest alert level.
This morning, Phil and I finally had Marianne back on the train after a nearly week-long Psychology drought. Phil discussed the book he recently finished--it involved a cop who slept with midgets and was confused as a pedophile--and Marianne discussed her fantastically fun Spring Break helping Rob test drunk teenage rats for brain damage. Sadly I call these people friends, despite the fact that each deserves at least a yellow rating.
But once we had the chance to examine our surroundings this morning, we were privy to a red-level vixen of mammoth proportions. Marianne got on the train first and didn't notice the haggardly whore sleeping in the two seater nearby; she was on a mission to find an open 3-seater for us all.
As the conductor came through, our crack whore--let's call her Trixie just for fun--wiped the spit from the corners of her mouth and handed him several crumpled bills and uttered some destination. He replied that our train was an express and wouldn't be stopping there. This leads me to believe that she was en route to one of the northern inner city stops known heavily for thier lovely surroundings of abonded shacks and overgrown fields of misplaced dreams, rather than the college-based stops from Manayunk through East Falls. He informed her that she must get off of this train and take another one coming about five minutes later. Trixie looked at him with the same bewilderment as a two-year old who just had her ball stolen from a 7th grader during recess. She proceeded to lay down in her seat and pretend not to hear him as she rocked back and forth coming down from her high.
Two stops later he made her get off of the train. Trixie got up and fell as though the train had lurched to a sudden stop. We had been parked for a good minute by this point. She gathered her collection of crumpled bills and proceeded to leave the train, but only after falling 3 more times.
Phil noted that the medical professional now sitting in her abandoned seat has no idea he might be sitting in crack drool. Hopefully they make an ointment for that.
Spring doesn't officially start for another 11 days, but if this morning's preview was any indication of what 2006 has in store, dear readers, we're going to have a fun few months!
