Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I can only imagine the 2-ply count
Have you ever laughed out loud in the public restroom? I only ever did once; the magazine article was really funny! Today I had to add twice to my count.
Our stalls have those giant TP dispensers that despite the fact that they're 1-ply, probably contain enough cleaning cloth to toilet paper the houses of an entire high school football team on Senior Night (not that this ever happened to the band geeks; actually I think my mom finally got the last of it about a year ago).
I was washing my hands when I heard that familiar rumble of the toilet paper roll coasting around its cylindrical holder, signaling that the person was just about finished with his business. The rumbling took place at a quick pace over an overly-extended amount of time. I figure he must have taken about 20 yards. I was just about to leave the restroom when it started again, equally as long. Curiosity got the better of my and I then had to know why it took so long. No less than 10 such repetitions of this behavior occurred. The toilet also flushed 3 times. By my calculations, he used 200 yards of toilet paper. Granted, we're talking Scott Brand cheap white toilet paper, so it really only equals about 10 yards, but who honestly needs even that much? The last time I took more than 2 yards, I was just getting over the stomach bug!
This struck me as particularly funny for some reason. I had stuck around to listen to the fun unraveling (I know that was really lame) and couldn't contain myself any longer. I let out a nice yelp followed by a quick belly laugh. The door unlatched, I caught a split second glimpse of the mystery wiper and ran off, hoping I had left in a big enough blur as to conceal my identity.
DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT linger in the bathroom waiting for funny things to happen to other people. You only get yourself in trouble!
Our stalls have those giant TP dispensers that despite the fact that they're 1-ply, probably contain enough cleaning cloth to toilet paper the houses of an entire high school football team on Senior Night (not that this ever happened to the band geeks; actually I think my mom finally got the last of it about a year ago).
I was washing my hands when I heard that familiar rumble of the toilet paper roll coasting around its cylindrical holder, signaling that the person was just about finished with his business. The rumbling took place at a quick pace over an overly-extended amount of time. I figure he must have taken about 20 yards. I was just about to leave the restroom when it started again, equally as long. Curiosity got the better of my and I then had to know why it took so long. No less than 10 such repetitions of this behavior occurred. The toilet also flushed 3 times. By my calculations, he used 200 yards of toilet paper. Granted, we're talking Scott Brand cheap white toilet paper, so it really only equals about 10 yards, but who honestly needs even that much? The last time I took more than 2 yards, I was just getting over the stomach bug!
This struck me as particularly funny for some reason. I had stuck around to listen to the fun unraveling (I know that was really lame) and couldn't contain myself any longer. I let out a nice yelp followed by a quick belly laugh. The door unlatched, I caught a split second glimpse of the mystery wiper and ran off, hoping I had left in a big enough blur as to conceal my identity.
DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT linger in the bathroom waiting for funny things to happen to other people. You only get yourself in trouble!
# posted by Jay @ 3:19 PM 
